Father’s Day without my Dad

Today is strange. Everywhere people are preparing for special lunches or family meals. Kids are excited as they prepare small gifts.

It’s Father’s day.

For some of us however it’s just a big reminder that we no longer have a father. It opens wounds that were healing. It puts doubts on our willingness to accept what has happened.

Not that this is really my case. Wounds are opened every time his wife posts one of his belongings on Facebook to sell. Every time we even mention her name. She has been so horrible. So mean. She has been manipulating for years to get money.

Up to a point that she has recently told me that I was a disgrace for inviting people to have something to eat after his funeral and that it cost under £300. So much that her brother charged me £102 for an MOT on the car my Dad gave me saying he didn’t pay his bill !

That hurt. My Dad wanted me to have his car so much because he was worried. He wasn’t happy that I was driving a French left hand drive car on UK roads. He insisted so much that I take his car and he would sort out the MOT it wasn’t like him not to pay a bill.

Today we should have been gathered together as a family to scatter his ashes. We could have made it a joyous occasion different to his funeral. We could have been united in a fond sadness but instead we don’t even know what has happened to his ashes. She has managed to keep us away so much.

The one thing she will never have is our memories the good and the bad. The arguments and the laughter. Not matter what Dad was never really bothered about Father’s Day. He always said he didn’t need anything.

I just wonder how many times we bought Dad Old Spice for Father’s Day !